Change.

I woke up today with a call from you. My heart was racing - should I pick it up or not? I picked it up.

Me: Heyy...
You: Heyy.. U buat ape?
Me: Nothing, just woke up.. why?
You: you free today? Wanna go out with me?
Me: *raises eyebrows* I thought you didn't wanna see me.
You: Taklah.. pe je.. so how? U wanna meet? Just u and me.. (at this point I could hear him smiling)
Me: okay :D


And then I opened my eyes. I shut them again because I didn't want to wake up. But I woke up anyways, feeling sad and stupid.


I don't know what I did that you'd let me go in that manner. We had it great, but a separation like this goes without saying that I might have meant little to you. It saddens me to think about how it all happened and the damage caused, to the point where I began to wonder if it was really all my fault. If we had it great yet it got us apart, there must have been something I did wrong right? Could it be my behaviour? Attitude? Choice of words? Or even something I did unintentionally and failed to apologize?

If that was the case, I am sorry. Whatever my fault was, for every fault of mine, I'm sorry. If I had hurt you in any way be it intentional or not, please forgive me.

If it wasn't because of me that we broke up, I am sorry still. I have my own set of theories why we broke up and you've already seen it from the text messages exchanged, so there is no need to disclose them here. Come to think of it, you haven't exactly explained why we broke up, neither did you explain why we should patchup. To me, it further proves how little I mean to you.

Well, at least I've learned to be more patient. More mature about it, in a sense that as much as I have every reason to hate you for doing this to me, I just don't want to. Compared to the way I handled my previous breakups, I sure have made a vast improvement. That should be something worth smiling about right?

I don't know what else to say. If only you can see how much this hurts me. If only. But what good would that do? I could rant all day about the things you didn't do to make it better, but what's the point? It's over.
God. It's over.